mommy

I was just lamenting to my teenage son, Otis, about what an utter crock of horseshit it is that he needs my fatass to take him to GameStop to get his latest coveted video game -- Brutal Legend -- because it's rated "M" for mature. I asked him what's so bad in the bastard that a 15 year old dude -- suckled on "Grand Theft Auto", "South Park" and "Superbad" -- is unable to purchase it without holding his mother's hand. He told me, "There's cussing and blood and heads getting chopped off"...to which I responded, "That's not offensive, dude -- THAT'S MY RESUME!"