Saturday, September 4, 2010

shitlist

Yesterday, my friend, Miss Jackie Beat, posted the following query on my wall -- " I need to know, WHO PISSED YOU OFF!?"

Here is my response:

Phyllis Schlafly.

ANYONE, ANYWHERE who harms a child or an animal.

The angry, vengeful god of the Old Testament.

NO-talent meathooks who, without invitation to do so, correct everyone's grammar and punctuation, whilst producing nothing of worth themselves.

Mrs. Kravitz.

My older brother, the undignified miser.

That Bosnian piece of shit who threw those puppies into the river.

Those who attempt to hinder and dissuade others from achieving their dreams because of their own self-loathing, small thinking, and petty jealousies.

The old woman my father was doing a job for who wouldn't let my siblings and I use her bathroom when I was a kid, because we were "brown and dirty."

The heartless prick who got rid of the original FEN-PHEN recipe.

TOT MOM.

Those guinea bastards who shot Sonny on the causeway. Goddamnit, I love me some Sonny.

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