Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Two days ago, a dangerously imbalanced woman lost her fucking mind and began stabbing people with a cheap kitchen knife at the West Hollywood Target store. She managed to slash a total of four random strangers before being subdued by an off-duty LA police officer with a gun in his holster, a soft pretzel in his hand, and a jumbo pack of Huggies tucked under his arm.

Everybody survived, thank the Blessed Virgin...but I just saw this picture of the suspect, Layla Trawick...and I'll be goddamned if, with a little Coast soap, a bush-trim, and a blow-out...this couldn't be Liv Tyler.

Let me tell you something, my friends...only in LA do even the most psychotic homicidal maniacs look remarkably like Tolkien Elven nobility...with pillowy lips and the sexiest goddamned overbite you ever saw in your life.

God, I love this city.

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