Okay, and now that I have paid proper respect to the recent story of the tragic stabbing at the Target in West Hollywood...now it's time for me to keep it real and admit my FIRST ACTUAL THOUGHT after I got the news that everyone involved was going to be alright.
All I could envision was this crazy, Liv Tyler-lookin' bitch running through housewares and small appliances, stabbing complete strangers with a cheap, store-brand paring knife...and with each slash, screaming, "CLEAN-UP ON AISLE 7!"..."CLEAN-UP ON AISLE 22!"..."CLEAN-UP ON AISLE 12!"
Yes, yes, I know. I'm going to Hell. God, I hope they have Taco Bell there.
Muffy Bolding
- Muffy Bolding
- Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/radical feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. Ms. Bolding lives in Los Angeles, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.
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