Little-known Muff Fact #698: I am one quarter Filipina. That's right, mein lieblings -- my grandfather, Gaudencio Viloria, was born in Manila and kept a severed goat's head on a platter in his gottdamned refrigerator at all times. His own father, my great-grandfather, hacked my great-grandmother to death with a machete in a jealous rage late one fateful night, and then finished himself off with it, as well. You think your family’s fucked-up? TOP THAT, MOTHERFUCKER.
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