Friday, January 22, 2010

from the archives: a recap of 2007

muff and mo
Me and my sister, Mo. She is a club lady. I am a hooker.

1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Lost an ovary and lost a sister.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t really do the whole resolution thing, but I do try to live deeply and fully in every moment and feel extremely confident that, for the most part, I am successful in that endeavor. In fact, whenever I lament the fact that, because of my history as a child bride and mother, I never really got to participate in all the fun drug experimentation that everyone else got to experience, Gregory always says, “ are one of the few people I know who is so profoundly present that you don’t require mind-altering substances to see what’s beyond the veil; you are already there.

Thank you, baby. I suppose this means that that peyote and Slim Fast cocktail is completely out of the question?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Wow. Gosh. For perhaps the first time in my entire adult life -- and despite having legions of sisters of childbearing age -- I think I can safely say no. How odd.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My little sister and my beloved, belly laughing granny.

5. What countries did you visit?

Oddly enough, I did not leave the country this year. That's a goddamned outrage.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

An effortless body.

7. What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February 25th. It was the day they found my sister’s body.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Writing, writing, writing every day, no matter fucking what.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not doing more to save my little sister's life; I shall live with that forever.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Well, aside from possibly looking down the barrel at ovarian cancer and coming out the other side less one ovary and one toomer l'orange, just the usual chronic and ongoing assortment of glandular and auto-immune disease horseshit. Yawn.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Wes Anderson’s shooting script for The Royal Tenenbaums.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My younger brother, for reasons I shall trumpet: the current mastery of his addiction. You go, bro.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My older brother, for reasons I shall not trumpet; the way he conducts himself and his life is beyond undignified.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Books, red lipstick, sushi, teenagers, and hospital bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Hands down: My career. Recently, I was absolutely floored to be breathlessly referred to as a "walking, talking fucking goldmine" by someone with a unique and longtime overview of this industry. Yeah, an ol' hooker like me. Can you even believe? Ah, perchance to dream! Whose ass do I gotta kiss? Oh, to have the power to write/produce/direct/act in awesome projects of my choice and my making. I just wanna travel, write, act, have fun, and get work for all my friends, goddamnit!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

“Cherry Bomb” by Spoon. It is so totally my new groove, I cannot even begin to tell you.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? I am always appallingly happy.
ii. thinner or fatter? I think I am hauling around about the same amount of fatness I was this time last year. Large and In Charge, goddamnit –- that’s me. But, I am working on it!
iii. richer or poorer? Define your terms. My lights are on, the rent is paid, my babies eat like Trader Joe’s kings, I am loved and cherished by the most amazing man in the world, my family makes me belly laugh until I can scarcely breathe on a daily basis, and I am able to buy the latest Ted Hughes tome if I want it. I am alive. In other words, compared to where I come from and where I've been, I live a motherfucking dream life.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

No question: travel.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Mourning the dead.

20. How did you spend New Year's?

At home with sweet Gregory and a brace of adorable 13 year old dudes who rang in the New Year with Guitar Hero, The Dead Kennedys, homemade pizza, and the circle of true and devoted friends they all love most in the world.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Oh, please, I fall in love a thousand times a day. Currently, I am in love with this cup of coffee and the smell of my husband's pillow.

23. How many one-night stands?

Oh, go fuck yourself.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Hands down: Californication. I saw just five minutes of it at a friend’s house before I immediately got my fatass on the horn with Showtime to subscribe. Unfuckingbelievably good.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I am definitely not a hater. Ultimately, I just don’t give away my power nor my energy to those I don’t like; if I don't like you, you simply do not exist for me.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?


28. What did you want and get?

My life back.

29. What did you want and not get?

My sister’s life back.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Hands down: Juno.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Fuck off, lady.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Glowing health; I'll get there.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Trying to be more of a grown-up lady; i.e., less thrashed 20 year old green Chucks, more leopard print scarves and red lipstick. I am working a fabulous fat French whore look. LOVE IT.

34. What kept you sane?

I kept myself sane. In fact, according to those who know me well, I am the sanest motherfucker you will ever meet.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ricky Gervais. Oh, and David Duchovny in Californication; he can put it anywhere he wants to, my friend.

37. Who did you miss most?


38. Who was the best new person you met?

My first husband’s new girl, Jerri: Positively darling, darling, darling! Welcome to the circle, honeypie. The babies love you and Gregory and I love you.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:

”I get it now, I get it; I didn't get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible...and enjoying everything in between.”
-- Mia Farrow

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Into The West

Lay down,
your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
You have come to journey’s end.

Sleep now, and dream
of the ones who came before.
They are calling,
from across a distant shore.

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see.
All of your fears will pass away.
Safe in my arms,
you’re only sleeping.

What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.

And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
All souls pass.

Hope fades,
Into the world of night.
Through shadows falling,
Out of memory and time.

Don’t say,
We have come now to the end.
White shores are calling.
You and I will meet again.
And you’ll be here in my arms,
Just sleeping.

What can you see,
on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea,
a pale moon rises.
The ships have come,
to carry you home.

And all will turn,
to silver glass.
A light on the water.
Grey ships pass
Into the West.

-- Annie Lennox

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