Friday, January 22, 2010

bruce almighty

And speaking about hair...every bastard in this country with thinning hair and a receding hairline needs to get down on his knees and thank the baby jesus for the ONE MAN who made it not only okay to lose your hair...but made it so that it's BUTCH to go bald: Bruce Motherfucking Willis. Because of him, men no longer gotta sport nasty comb-overs. When it starts to go, YOU JUST SHAVE THAT SHIT OFF. Acknowledge, boys!

And for those who have suggested various other names...Yul Brynner and Sean Connery don't count. I'm not sure Yul actually shaved his because he was losing his hair -- or just because he thought it made him look like a BOSS MOTHERFUCKIN' GENIE.


Sean is ol' school -- all those boys back then had short hair, so his wasn't necessarily a statement, just de rigueur for the times. Vin Diesel came MUCH later. He could actually be counted among those who benefited from Willis' hairless aplomb. And you know, I might actually be talked into giving ol' Eddie Harris some props in the matter but mainly because I SHO WOULD LIKE HIM TO SLAP MY FACE, PULL MY HAIR, AND CALL ME A DIRTY WHORE. But then, that's just me.

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