Friday, January 22, 2010

can i get a rating on van halen? you all know that song, "Drops of Jupiter" by Train? Yeah, the one where those guys try their asses off to approximate the sound and soul of The Black Crowes -- which isn't really saying much, if you think about it. It was popular like ten years ago, or something.

Well, anyway -- there is a line in that song that apparently goes:

"Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?"

Well, for the LONGEST GODDAMNED TIME, I honest to christ thought that that line was instead the following (and would sing it out LOUD AND PROUD because it just amused me no end):

"Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
and Van Halen is overrated?"


Yeah, yeah, yeah...I am WELL aware that I am a ridiculous jackass, and when my husband heard me singing along one day in the car -- singing along MY WAY, that is -- he nearly busted a fucking cute jew-boy gut laughing at me.

But you know what? My reasoning was this: If a song contains the UTTERLY ludicrous, NO-talent, 21st century, BAD pop culture phrases:

"She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo..."

"Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken..."

"The best soy latte that you ever had and me..."

Then I see ZERO fucking outrageousness in it also containing the phrase, "Van Halen is overrated..."

And, yes...when I first heard it (or misheard it, rather), I must admit to having felt just AWFUL for poor ol' Van Halen. To be publicly humiliated by Kurt Cobain the way they were was one thing -- because there was almost a cool veneer to being on the receiving end of the infamous Cobain Disdain.

But to be MOLDED by those fucking NO-talent meathooks in Train, for chrissake?

Why, it's almost too much to bear.

I do believe I shall be forced to seek solace in the best soy latte that I'll ever have...and thee.

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