for all my christian friends (of which, i am sure, there are many)

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So, I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

He said, "Like what?"

I said, "Well...are you Religious or Atheist?"

He said, "Religious."

I said, "Me, too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"

He said, "Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

He said, "Baptist!"

I said, "Wow! Me, too! Are you Baptist Church of God, or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

He said, "Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me, too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

I said, "Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, Heretic Scum!!!", and pushed him off.

-- Emo Phillips


PS) And yes, for those of you wondering...the above picture DOES hang in a place of great honor in my living room.