"no crybabies"

Having moved away from FresNO a decade ago, I haven't yet been to their awesome new seafood restaurant, Pismo's, but I just came across this blog on CentralValleyMoms.com that takes issue with a sign near the door that apparently has a picture of a crying baby along with the slogan, "NO CRYBABIES." Apparently, some people are offended by this and vow to never return.

My opinion is it's a sort of light-hearted attempt at humor that also serves as a gentle reminder that even though children and families are certainly welcome, it would be much appreciated -- by staff and other patrons alike -- that if your child is throwing a wild hissy (as children are wont to do), to take them outside for a bit to regroup. As you know, I have three children -- 15, 18, and 22 now -- and believe that children should absolutely be taken to public dining establishments, as it's the only way for them to learn that dining out is a privilege, a luxury, and a responsibility of sorts -- a responsibility as well as an opportunity to learn how to behave in public.

Growing up in the the working class, where simolians were often hard to come by, it is my opinion that those offended by this sign need to remember that there are people in that restaurant who have set aside or saved up their hard-earned (perhaps even scarce) money for that meal and PAID A GODDAMNED BABYSITTER so that they might have a peaceful, pleasant, relaxing dining experience AWAY from screaming children. They deserve to have their "investment" and their public dining experience respected.

With that said, sometimes children lose their goddamned minds and that's just a fact of life. When that happens, their parents need to be courteous and handle it...and if that means going outside for a timeout -- or LEAVING ALTOGETHER, even -- then sometimes that is necessary. As a culture, we tend to be discourteous enough as it is -- to reinforce that behavior by allowing an entire restaurant to be disturbed for an hour because little Madison or Tucker doesn't want to eat their fucking green beans is not only a disservice to the child, the staff, and all of the other patrons, it is ultimately a disservice to the parents themselves who are setting a nightmarish precedent for FUTURE PARENTING HORROR OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.

I say, just wait until they're teenagers, my poppets! Getting them to eat their greens will seem like a Sunday stroll through the goddamned park. Can you say Beer Pong, T-backs, and Sexting?

NO CRYBABIES BEYOND THIS POINT